Commitment Issues? I think not!

When someone asked me if I was going to continue to attend the Cornell ward for the next few months, I wasn't able to give a straight answer. I fumbled for words and finally said, "maybe?" He then continued to ask if I was deciding if I liked them enough to make the hour trek every Sunday. This was when I realized that maybe I really do have commitment issues! Friends have said it for years and I have always just blown it off. I have always thought they meant commitment issues in relationships but it turns out... it's all aspects of my life. The question from this friend in Cornell has made me contemplate this "commitment" thing in all of my decisions. I have always thought of myself as someone who followed through on commitments and responsibilities that I was expected to do. I decided that it's not that I have "commitment issues". It's more the fear of saying I'm going to do something and then not being able to follow through. I hate being irresponsible or flaky. When I commit to something I want to be fully dedicated to it, totally and completely. I didn't want to say that I would go to the Cornell Ward and then not be able to go to many activities or later decide to stay in Owego. Trying to overcome this commitment crisis, I decided to make a decision and move forward with it. This idea of commitments to daily decisions also made me think about my commitments and relationships. We have all heard people say they have "commitment issues". I feel though that people commit when it is something they feel is worth their time and effort. We make time for things that are important to us. When the right person comes along for someone with "commitment issues", they always commit. They may be scared but the outcome is worth it to them. They want to commit. So I decided that it's not that I have "commitment issues", but that I don't want to hurt anyone or let anyone around me down. I want to be fully and totally dedicated to anything that I say I will do. So the next time I hear someone say they have commitment issues I will be looking at it with a different pair of eyes.